How Writing My Wedding Vows Taught Me About Faith, Love, and Words That Last
Photo by NW Film Co.
(Inspired by my interview on the Oh Happy Day Podcast with Aly McCroskey)
If you’ve ever sat down to write your wedding vows or speech and thought, “Where do I even start?” — you’re not alone.
As a professional wedding vow and speech writer, I’ve learned that writing about love isn’t just about finding pretty words.
It’s about getting honest, slowing down, and especially when it comes to wedding vows, remembering what you’re actually promising.
In my conversation on the Oh Happy Day Podcast, I shared a bit about how I got started, what I’ve learned from couples, and why I believe words have the power to change marriages.
How I Became a Wedding Writer
I didn’t plan to start a vow and speech writing business — I kind of stumbled into it.
In 2018, my husband Cody and I were dating, and it was one of the hardest years of our lives.
He broke his leg, I was on call as a flight attendant from midnight to 2 p.m., his apartment caught on fire, and later that year he needed emergency gallbladder surgery.
I even got into a car accident and lost my car.
Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos, I kept having dreams that I was standing at the altar and didn’t have my vows written.
Every night.
Eventually, I went to the library (for the Wi-Fi), opened my laptop, and started typing a love letter for our two-year dating anniversary.
I wrote about our story and what love meant to me—the real, sacrificial kind that stays even when life gets hard.
I recorded it on my phone, and a few months later, while sitting beside Cody’s hospital bed—burnt out and defeated—I listened to it again and wept.
Yes, I had written that letter for him, but I needed it too.
I needed those words spoken over me just as much.
Hearing my own words reminded me of the kind of love I wanted to choose every day.
That moment changed me.
It made me realize that when I finally did get to write my vows, they wouldn’t just be for the wedding day—they’d be for the hard days, too.
How Lovely Letters By Amanda Started
Photo by NW Film Co.
A few years later, I started helping friends edit their college application essays and personal statements and I found quite a bit of success with it.
One client I worked with got accepted into BYU Law School with a killer personal essay I helped polish up.
The dean even admitted that it was one of the best essays he’d ever read!
I loved storytelling, but editing essays didn’t quite light me up like I had hope.
I felt pretty strongly that there had to be something more fun out there for me to help people with!
Then I remembered that moment in the hospital — how powerful it had been to put my love into words.
My wedding planner friend, Lindsey, shared a post in a Facebook wedding group about my desire to help people write their wedding vows and speeches.
Within hours, the post got sixty comments.
That’s when I realized I’d found my niche—and that’s how Lovely Letters by Amanda was born in 2021.
What Makes a Great Wedding Speech
Whether it’s a Maid of Honor, Best Man, or parent toast, the best speeches have one thing in common: they connect the person to the marriage.
1.) Start with the bride or groom.
2.) End with the couple.
3.) Keep it under five minutes.
4.) And choose stories that reveal character — loyalty, humor, kindness, patience, etc.
5.) A great speech doesn’t need to be poetic; it just needs to be intentional.
Don’t think about it as a performance — think about it as honoring someone you love.
If you’re the Maid of Honor and staring at a blank page wondering where to start, I’ve got you. 💕
Grab my free guide, “How to Structure Your Maid of Honor Speech in 5 Easy Steps.”
It walks you through my exact process for crafting a heartfelt, well-balanced speech that celebrates your best friend and the couple’s story—without the stress.
👉 Download the free guide here and start writing a speech you’ll be proud to give.
How I Help Couples Write Their Vows
I usually start with a video call to see if the client and I are a good fit.
When it comes to wedding vows, I love hearing how the couple met, what’s the hardest thing they’ve ever been through, and what they are looking forward to in marriage.
Then I send a personalized questionnaire that digs deep — questions like:
What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through together?
What does commitment mean to you?
What are you promising for the days that aren’t easy?
From there, I take their stories and help shape them into vows that sound like them.
Then we go back and forth until the words feel natural and true.
If a word doesn’t sound like something they’d actually say, it’s gone.
Because vows shouldn’t sound like a Pinterest caption — they should sound like your heart.
Why Writing Your Own Vows Matters
Writing your vows forces you to slow down and reflect on what you’re about to promise.
It’s one of the most grounding parts of wedding planning because it’s not about colors or seating charts — it’s about covenant.
And there’s something powerful about writing things down.
Studies show people are more likely to achieve their goals when they write them down.
The same principle applies to marriage — when you write your promises, you remember them.
In the Bible, the Hebrew word zakar means “to remember” and specifically a remembrance that leads to action.
Writing your vows is a form of active remembering — you’re putting truth on paper so you can live it out later.
How Faith Shapes the Way I Write
My faith is the foundation of everything I do.
Marriage is designed to reflect Christ and the Church — and that means keeping promises, extending grace, and choosing love again and again.
When I help couples write their vows, I guide them toward promises they can actually keep.
Instead of saying “I’ll always make you happy,” we might rework it to:
“I promise to show you grace when things get hard.”
“When I fail, I promise to seek forgiveness and fight for unity.”
